My chief and abiding trial lies within; and I hope that the Lord will sanctify it — to make me by degrees 'little' in my own eyes. I long to be able to use Job's words, with the same feeling as I believe Job had when he spoke them, "Behold, I am vile!" (Job 40:4.) The acknowledgment in words is quite easy — but really and in good earnest to "abhor myself" and repent in dust and ashes — is most difficult. I know that I ought to be humbled before Him — but I want to be so indeed.

    But that monster SELF has as many heads as a Hydra — and as many lives as a cat! It is more than 25 years since I hoped it was fast nailed to the cross — but alas, it is still very much alive — and still mixing with, and spoiling everything I do!